The 5 Biggest Sleep Training Mistakes

Sleep training is a process and, like with any process involving multiple people, you want to make sure you are aligned on how the process works and that you are sticking to the process. There are common mistakes like lack of consistency, responding too quickly to cries, and expecting overnight success. These are just a few of the common mistakes we made when sleep training — as well as having one completely unexpected thing that we weren’t prepared for! You can plan and plan, but when something random happens, you need to act on your feet and make the best and most informed decision. Below I will list out these 5 common mistakes so you start your sleep training journey on the right foot.

1. Not Being Consistent & Aligned

This is probably the most common one I have read about and definitely one we made. Either from one day to the next, consistency is off—or from one parent to the next, consistency is off. Regardless of the day and who is putting the baby to sleep, make sure you follow the same sleep routine each time. For us, our nighttime routine looks like the following:

1. Wipe down of the baby with warm water and calming music

2. Get in a nice feed before the long sleep

3. Change diaper and put them in their sleep outfit and sleep sack

4. Say goodnight to 5 things in the room

5. Read 2 short books in the bassinet

6. Repeat the goodnight mantra: “Goodnight, I love you. Time to go to sleep.”

7. Leave the room and monitor, doing check-ins

   
   

This doesn’t have to be your routine, but it works for us. By the time he gets into his bassinet to read, he is calm and ready to sleep. Some nights it may take him 20 minutes to go down. Other nights, he may go down in 3 minutes. As long as you are consistent in the routine, this signals that it is time for bed and helps build that pattern of knowing what bedtime is.

2. Rushing in Too Soon

On the first night, not only did we rush in too soon—he threw us a wildcard and decided to roll to his belly for the first time. Let’s address one at a time. If you hear your baby crying, this can be extremely difficult. We are so used to soothing them to bed, and when they don’t have this assistance and you feel you can help, it can be very emotional. As long as they aren’t hyperventilating or REALLY struggling, let them cry a bit, and as long as you are there and doing the check-ins, they are going to be fine. Try not to be too obsessive with the baby monitor. Check it periodically but don’t have your eyes glued to it.

Now, let’s talk about a somewhat related topic we ran into: rolling to the belly. If your baby is successfully rolling back-to-front and front-to-back, they have good neck control, your pediatrician has given you the go-ahead at sleep training, and they were put to sleep on their back, leave them be! For us, it was the first time he had belly slept and we were SO nervous. For a few minutes, we panic-read everything we could and found out that it’s perfectly fine. In fact, he slept the best he’d ever slept that night. Don’t stress out too much if this happens to you.

3. Sleep Environment Isn’t Ideal

On one of the nights, we ran into this because of the spring forward time change. It was lighter out during his bedtime, and we were putting him to sleep in our room since he was still under 6 months. We don’t have blackout curtains, but his room does. We decided that putting him to bed in his room and then transferring him later when we would go to sleep was the best option for us. Aside from that, we had all the other things lined up—white noise, temperature, and sleep sack all set up.

Make sure the sleep environment is conducive to sleep. This means a dark room with shades or blackout shades, white noise, making sure the temperature is between 68–72 degrees, and a sleep sack over a blanket. If the environment is set up and you are taking all the other right steps, things should fall into place over time as you progress through your sleep training journey.

4. Ignoring Wake Windows

This was a mistake we made before we started sleep training. One of the bigger learnings for us was the concept of eat, play, sleep. The wake window was crucial in following this pattern because the eat and play portion will be inside of this. Right now, for our 5-month-old, his wake window is 1.5–2 hours. We’d like him to be closer to 2–2.5, but that is where we are at. Making sure he has the correct wake window set us up for success with sleep training. This made sure he wasn’t overly tired or too awake. Both are a recipe for disaster when starting sleep training.

5. Expecting Overnight Success

Be patient with the journey. On the second day, I remember thinking that because it took him longer to nap, maybe we did something wrong the first night. Each day gets easier and easier, and eventually they just cry for a little or just fuss a little bit. Also, don’t beat yourself up if a week in they have the worst time going down. This doesn’t mean failure. Each day is different and you can’t get them down with no fuss 100% of the time. Celebrate the wins, but don’t be too hard on yourself.

Sleep Training Mistakes - Conclusion

Sleep training isn’t about being perfect—it’s about learning, adjusting, and showing up consistently. Mistakes are part of the process, and you’ll grow from every one of them. Whether it’s staying consistent, managing your emotions during check-ins, or fine-tuning the sleep environment, each step helps you and your baby get closer to better rest. Give yourself grace, trust the process, and know that restful nights are within reach—even if they don’t happen overnight.